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Chinese Manners in Daily Life |
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Speech and Greeting Conventions
Chinese etiquette states that the best way to speak is gently and with one’s head slightly bowed. “Answering back” to those who are older is considered ill-mannered: the advice of elders should be accepted. Children who answer back or swear are considered bad mannered and their parents are held responsible.
Chinese men speaking loud are not considered bad mannered: a woman speaking loudly, is, and may have abuse and ridicule heaped upon herself.
The correct way of greeting a person is very important in Chinese culture: inappropriate greeting is considered very much undesirable. Among strangers, acquaintances or at formal occasions the greeting “Ni Hao” meaning, literally “you good?” is used. The phrase “Have you eaten?” is used as a more familiar greeting and testifies to the centrality of good in Chinese culture. |
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The Chinese tend not to greet those close to them with greetings that may bear a negative slant such as “you’re looking sad” or “you’re looking tired”: this is deemed improper. In formal contexts, or when addressing an elder or a person with a high status, it is considered highly inappropriate and rude to address the person by their given name. They should be addressed according to their designation, for example “Mr. Tang, Doctor Liu, Chairman Lee”, etc.
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Negative replies are considered impolite. Instead of saying “no”, answer “maybe”, “I’ll think about it “, or “We’ll see” and get into specifics later.
You may be asked intrusive questions concerning your age, income, and marital status. If you don’t want to reveal this information, remain polite and give an unspecific answer. Don’t express irritation with the questioner, since “losing face” has such negative implications in this culture.
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On the other hand, unless you are a very familiar personal friend, do not ask your Chinese hosts about their family although, typically, you can ask “How old is your child?”, “How long have you been in the work force?” or “Where is your child studying?” as a means of determining their marital status and age.
In Chinese culture, the question “Where have you been?” is the equivalent to “How are you?” in North China; It’s just a superficial inquiry that does not require a literal-minded, detailed answer.
You may make general inquiries about the health of another’s family, such as “are all in your family well?”
During a meal, expressing enthusiasm about the food you are eating is a welcome, and usually expected, topic of conversation.
“Small talk” is considered especially important at the beginning of a meeting.
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In China people should be addressed with a title and their name. If a person does not have a professional title, use “Mr.”, “Mrs.”, “Miss”, “Comrade”, plus their last name. If a person does have a professional or official title they should be addressed as “General”, “Committee Member”, “Bureau Chief”, etc. whenever possible. |
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It is common social practice to introduce the junior to the senior, or the familiar to the unfamiliar. When you start a talk with a stranger, the topics such as weather, food, or hobbies may be good choices to break the ice.  To a man, a chat about current affairs, sports, stock market or his job can usually go on smoothly. Similar to Western customs, you should be cautious to ask a woman private questions. However, relaxing talks about her job or family life will never put you into danger.
She is usually glad to offer you some advice on how to cook Chinese food or get accustomed to local life. Things will be quite different when you’ve made acquaintance with them. Implicit as Chinese are said to be, they are actually humorous enough to appreciate the exaggerated jokes of American. |
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| Handshaking, Bowing, Nodding |
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 Chinese use to cup one hand in the other before the chest as a salute. This tradition has a history of more than 2000 years and nowadays it is seldom used except in the Spring Festival. And shaking hands is more popular and appropriate on some formal occasions. Handshaking is considered formal greeting behavior in China.
It is used to show respect, but only if the person is someone important, like a government official or a businessman.
The grip should be firm, but not overly strong, and should not be prolonged because Chinese, like other Asians, prefer a brief handshake. After shaking hands, you may exchange your name or the title of your company with each other and then proceed to carry out the affairs.
Bowing, as to convey respect to the higher level, is often used by the lower like subordinates, students, and attendants. But at present Chinese youngsters tend to simply nod as a greeting. To some extent this evolution reflects the ever-increasing paces of modern life.
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| The following are some general rules to remember when in public places in China: the Chinese will nod or bow slightly as an initial greeting.
Handshakes are also popular, but you should wait for your Chinese counterpart to initiate the gesture.
If you visit a school, theater, or other workplace, it is likely that you will be greeted with applause as a sign of welcome. In turn, you should applaud back. Avoid making expansive gestures and using unusual facial expressions. The Chinese do not use their hands when speaking. |
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| Some hand gestures are necessary: To summon attention, turn your palm down, waving your figures toward yourself. Use your whole hand rather than your index finger to point.
The Chinese, especially those who are older and in positions of authority, dislike being touched by strangers.
Acknowledge the most senior member in a group first.
Smiling is not as noticeable in China, since there is a heavy emphasis on repressing expression.
It is common for members of the same sex to hold hands while in public. Other public displays of affection between the sexes are frowned upon.
Do not put your hands in your mouth, as it is considered vulgar. Don’t bite your nails, pick your teeth, or do other similar practices. |
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